Archive for the 'Anecdoticals' Category

My school…

Starting tomorrow, I will be heading off to a village to spend a month. The village in which my school survives, betwixt solemn juvenile neem trees who sway lazily and yet bureaucratically in sandy breezes. A school some 15-20 kilometres away from the place where I live now, a journey of blissful peace, yet with a grim undertonic omen. A journey through a road boulevarded by meadow grass and daffodil-like yellow blossoms, patches of ups and downs, hills and valleys.

My school is in a village called Gudda Deher. It displays the name “Rajakiya Uche Pradhamika Vidyalay” (Government Upper Primary School). Classes range from one to eight, students from three to seventeen years of age. Class one has a rather nomadic population. If you see one today, do take their picture for reference, for in all probability, you will not see her/him tomorrow. They are all rather smaller than half the required age to attend school – 6. The oldest in class one is probably five years of age. They all sit nonchalantly disinterested in the proceedings of the class, whether it be mathematics, or games. Hard to even classify them as children, for they seem to be of a lost lot. They sit with the weight of heaven knows what on their bodies, like the man with the hoe. They look not, see not, sing not, play not, colour not. Perhaps they be scared of their teacher-torturers?

They all speak a language which is a blend of Hindi, Marwardi, Shekhawati, and many others whose names I know not yet. Of course, I do not get a word of what they say, and thus, neither do I get a word in the proceedings.

Classes are clubbed, one and two sit together, so does three and four, five, six, seven, and eight have their own spaces to claim.

Teacher-torturers
These are individuals who wear costumes and ranks of servants of the Government, guised to ‘teach’. And what do they do? Or what do they do not? These individuals, most of them, barring two, love shirking classes, sitting under the neem trees sipping tea, unless there is an inspection from Sarva Shiksha Abhyan. Their second favourite hobby is torturing the children. They hit, slap, punch, kick, throw, pinch, twist, et al the children. The last day, one of them told me with a weary look, “What to do… The government has banned sticks also!” I don’t think they shudder have an idea of what the Government has and hasn’t banned. Their physical abuse would put to shame the fiery veer jawans of the Kannada Protection Sangha who prowl the streets of Bangalore to chance upon the hapless clueless (and all but money and gizmo less) immigrant software employee. Kids are just punching bags that throw a challenge to their worthy fists. *dish phtwack dhjung ptash*.

And the kids, they just wail, until the get a few more *pthacks*, and then, they just shut up. Numb in their existence. Beyond sorrow or fright. The child with the hoe.

The principal is a chilled out guy. He likes to sit in his office, doing nothing, discussing alcohol, nicotine, and sex. I should ask him for sex advice, he said. He’s an expert in the field, he said.

Let us talk about child labour
Oh how I remember how we used to fume over that lone child wiping tables in the restaurant in Bangalore. The poor child imported from some unheard of village in Tamil Nadu, now serving the wipes to serve his family. And how we used to dial 1098, and how we used to talk, fume and fiery. How we used to make presentations, show documentaries, write papers.

Here I am, in a school were child labour is a misnomer. If labour by default is to be borne by the child, one wouldn’t call it child labour, would we? The school children are forced to clean their school premises, cook food, clean up after the teacher-torturers, make tea, wash the teacher-torturers’ dishes, get water for the teacher-torturers, carry tables and chairs, etc. etc. etc. I do remember that we used to carry tables and chairs in our school for functions of sorts, but we used to do it with a joyful enthusiasm. We weren’t forced to do it. Here, they are. After a forced assembly, a Nazi type voice rings out, announcing thus: “Eight standard girls, clean up your school”, and off comes an army armed with brooms and wipes, cleaning out each class, the staff room, the school premises…

Any child who is a little slow at it, at brooming or at washing the teacher-torturer’s tea glass, gets a whack on the head. “Hurry up you donkey”.

This is a Government school. Child what did you say it was again?

The last place a child should be sent to – school
Magnanimous. An overstatement? Oh no. No child should ever be sent to any school. Forced to learn constructs of 1, 2, 3 and a, b, c, to conform and fit into society, schools are centres of brainwashing. They function to drain our children out of the energy, love and innocence that life bestows. Grouped together on the basis of constructs like age or IQ, shut off in classrooms, or at least in fixed sessions, mass produced, schools rape children. They rape children of their beauty, of their innocence, of their magic, of their amazingness, of their oneness, of their Nature, of their uniqueness, and impregnates them with the semen of conformity, of anonymity, of being seams in the stitches of our constructed systems (systems which has no meaning or purpose in themselves or at the product end of them), of being bricks in the wall. Whatever the school be, NCERT, GSCE, IB, ICSE, Montessori, Krishnamurti, or Steiner.

Or perhaps not? To prove or disprove, here goes my life. Hello world.

The day I set my parrots free

Suddenly, I remember the day I set my parrots free. Its been over eight months now.

With each surge of life, a little more of that which we talk, and oh so ever often know, becomes Knowledge. Knowledge with a capital K, to distinguish it from knowledge. Captain K is that exclusive K, one that stands apart from corporal k in quality, and perhaps in a deconstruction of quantity. K is acquired through experience, k, through medial sources of information.

And as these little surges, as little waves which froth and bubble the seashore, as she sold seashells there (now why would anyone sell seashells on the seashore?), K up my life, each moment brings forth a drastic discovery. A discovery that: “ohmigosh! I’ve been doing thaaaat until now? ohmigosh ohmigosh ohmigosh! What do I do! Life is so hard! I cannot live! Suicide is the option!”

Of course, it, until now, is yet to result in a suicide, but with these little surges which cause this piling up of K, I change my life a little.

One such little surge of K made me realise that I had four parrots locked up in a big cage. Like, I really-had-four-parrots-caged-up-inhibiting-their-freedom-and-therefore-making-them-slaves-to-me-their-master. This realisation shocked me. Of course the values of liberty and equality needs to be upheld. Thankfully, and sadly, an incident sparked in my home terrain, where a cat killed one of my parakeets. That godsend horrible cat ripped the poor curious ‘ung one into smithereens. It was all a blaze of green and red. This made my parents realise that in spite of their best, they could not protect these poor little caged flying things round the clock. And therefore, as I was planning to timidly broach the topic of their freedom, my parents timidly approached me with the same. Overjoyed I, fixed a date for their release, and armed with a camera, we all fondled them for a last time, fed them, and set them free.

That’s quite a story, with a couple breaking up, and the heartbroken male coming back to spend two weeks in silent hope and mourning, and so on and so on. But this setting free incident makes me think of these values of liberty, freedom, freeness, et al.

Do these mental concepts (or, as some hardcore linguists might argue, linguistic concepts), if I may dare, mean anything to them green cuddly winged flybies? Is it an instinct? What is an instinct? Are instincts also constructs?

We all know how all animals rage to oppose capture. And we presume that these displays of aggressiveness are shudders that uphold the value of freedom, of free choice. Is it a move to keep the right to make their own decisions, or is it a move to oppose capture and probably instant death (in kingdom animalia minus Homo sapien sapiens, individuals don’t exactly capture animals to keep them as pets and cuddle them do they)? And therefore, if their move is just to escape death, are we not justified in capturing them and ‘taking care’ of them? Indeed, countless battles in the H. s. sapien world have been fought for freedom. Almost every battle. Kings defending their kingdoms through their soldiers. Nations defending their borders through armies. All trying to uphold their right to free choice. Or is that right to free choice just a farce? Oft quote we from the “animal world” to substantiate our quarrels, pogroms, and nukes. But is this instinct of freedom present at all in the animal world, or is it barely an instinct to aid survival? Of course, any child who came of age, let by its parents ‘free’ into the world will know how free-will is not exactly the best chance of an individual’s survival. Its basic logic that if all individuals in a kingdom followed the king’s advice, and surrendered their free-will to the Throne, no one had to die. If all conformed to the nation, there would be no prisons. What happens when both the king/nation/head and the subjects/citizens/parts are given free will is what we have in our world today – deaths, deaths, more deaths, way too many births leading to even more deaths.

At the very same time though, and now I chart across facts to observations and experience, the K, an interesting page in the Life of Pi reads that change and animals are not two signifiers that go hand in hand. Animals hate change. They do anything to oppose change. They want to lead their way in the same beaten path, over and over again, day after day, season after season. Of course, time is inconsequential here, its the rhythm which has to be maintained (lets not conform individuals outside the H. s. sapiens realm to constructs of sapienity, like time). An elephant wants to remain where it is, take a bath in the same river, traverse the same path over the seasons. A peacock wants to stay within its territory. A monkey in its fashion. (However, this proposal would put into serious question the theory of origin of life in one point and its consequent spreading, or rather, this proposal is seriously questioned by that theory). And from observation, and little little curious interactions with individuals outside the H. s. s. spectrum, I have to agree that Yann Martel has a point there. I have no readings or research to back up my claim, it is merely a subjective proposal. Now, put into this dimension, the H. s. s. world seems strikingly similar. It is to oppose change that kings oppose other kings, that systems clamp down deviants. But, how can that be when the mantra of the day is “change”? We vote for different political parties for change, Obama says “Yes we can” signifying a change from a noness to a canness, leadership gurus talk of making change a lifestyle, Robert Frost recites The Road Not Taken. But, think again, these keywords of change hide a system of not-change. Leadership gurus who ask wannabe leaders to make change their lifestyle support the not changing of the capitalist system which is catering to selfish dreams. Political parties who claim change, and a difference from their predecessors, are not talking of a change, but are talking of a not-change: roads shall be good, as they were, as they aren’t now, i.e., there shall be no change in their condition; development indices will increase, i.e., there shall be no change in the rate of change (or, in this context, “change” can be the same as expectation, and therefore, “change” is not change, but is just a shift from a physical state to a preferred mental state – like wanting to urinate, having a full bladder, and having urinated). Robert Frost asks not people to find really radical lifepaths, but to not change the process (or rate) of liberalisation. Humans have always opposed change. Oh come on, that value which reads in the “Well Being Scale” used by psychologists  “Are you comfortable with sudden ruptures and changes in plans?” is just a farce; no one can be comfortable with changes, they can barely be more used to changes in plans, and the more used one gets to changes in plans, those very changes form the individual’s not change zone, and therefore, those changes cease to become changes, and they become variables in an itinerary of not change.

And for not change, we need free will. “Freedom is the freedom to say no”, says Shantaram in the book by Gregory David Roberts (it must be a thought which must have germinated some time much earlier, surely, but this is my source). And therefore, is this instinct of survival a tussle for not change, which is linguistically abstracted with terms like free will and freedom? And ergo just Let It Be and not change anything? Don’t cage the bird? Once you caged it, don’t let it free? Or if it continues to struggle in captivity, let it free?

 

 

i still remember the day i set my parrots free. and they flew flew flew over the river, grass, and trees. one stood by to watch and see, if its mate would come back and their love could still be. but alas. i still remember the day i set my parrots free… are they truly happy? h…a… …p….d.. … … y. .    ? . .

Confessions of a volunteer

Words are flying out like endless rain in through a paper cup… hums the musical soul, thrumming a guitar resting on his lap, sitting cross-legged, resting against the wall, at the far end of the room from me. Me, curled in a lotus position, echoing his thoughts about how we came to be here, the state of the world, hypocrisy of folk, and tonight’s dinner… Escaping into notes of the Beatles melody, both of us knew that world was cruel, that life was pointless, and that it was hard. It. Being a volunteer.

That is how we had come to know each other, three long years back. Volunteers for a ‘social cause’. Embraced into the welcoming folds of righteous feeling, passion, and collective conscious of our associates, we had taken up the yoke to return in time and set right the un-rights. It has been a long journey, across stereotypes and beliefs, hopes and trust, across oceans and seas, love, hate, beauty, hospitals, slums, villages, people, words, emails, blueprints, plans, schools, songs, and literally half the way across the world. Yup, this currently octopus shaped cynic, and his guitar-possessing optimist.

Armed with the wand of change, we swept across human-inhabited (and otherwise) geographical spaces, waving our magic hither and tither. And every once in a while, we would come up with the same thought as we were manifesting now – how did we get here again?

It, volunteering, is hard. Why is it hard, you might ask… What is there so much to it? Isn’t it just a matter of educating the poor to break the vicious circle of poverty? Isn’t it just talking to people to make them aware of social issues? Isn’t is just about being socially minded so as to make a better world?

Oh no, that is the tragedy it has become. In fact, it isnt. It is, simply put, about thought, change, and delusion.

With great power comes great responsibility (Plato’s ‘Gorgias’). And a volunteer is armed with the greatest of powers – of change. Change is, in a way, the creation of something new. Thus a volunteer has the power of creation. The same power attributed to God, in all religious faiths. And this power has immense capacity. Thus making a volunteer intensely responsible for her/his world. What (s)he does with this power is what makes volunteering hard.

A question to begin with could be, what am I working for? Which will probably be shortly followed by what am I doing? Of course the question of who am I doing this for and is this what they really need or what are we doing to them would come up somewhere in the body of thought. These thoughts will probably take you to change. Change. Not of others, not of someone you work for, but of yourself. However, you probably wouldn’t have come to a satisfactory conclusion for your questions, which would probably continue through your change, questioning your change. Soon, you would have a Plato-Socratic battle raging in your head (and heart) – they are of the poor, I should help educate them to break the cycle of poverty; but is education the answer? Isn’t education just conditioning you to conform to society; and isn’t the heart of the problem within the system of the society itself? But what else can I do? Shouldn’t I be doing something? Should I be doing something? Who am I to decide what is best for someone else? What is good, what is bad? So what must I do?

And finally, you reconcile by doing something to smother the raging fire of your thoughts. Welcome to delusion.

Amidst all this, you would have travelled through the most passionate of beliefs, the best of friends, the heights of love, the top notches of efficiency, the worst of heartbreaks… And finally, you and me, we end up in this room, pondering about our dinner, and losing ourselves Across the Universe as we try to negotiate life. It is hard. It better be. If not, its time to start thinking.


[this article, titled 'Confessions of a volunteer', has been written by the author of this post as an entry to a social work organisation magazine. If published, the rights to this article will belong to that magazine and the publishing organisation. Until then, it falls under the general rights policy that this blog follows.]

[this article is dedicated, with love, to all the new volunteers at the above mentioned social work organisation, and the guitar-possessing optimist soul]

'An AC City Bus'

This is an article written by my brother, in my native language Malayalam. It touched me, and I decided to translate it. Scroll down for the original version in Malayalam.

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An AC City Bus

Today morning, as usual, I woke up making some unknown souls victims to my sleepy curses (I think those were people who were behind inventions of the mobile, doorbell and so on..)… Sigh..

For a person like me, for whom a normal day is destined to be composed of 23 hours of work, for a person who is many people in one, the onset of dawn is a sort of numbness… A numbness nurtured by the pondering about a day full of numbness…

And then come the routines, as usual. Brushing. Shower. Dressing up. Sadistic reminders of the beguilement of souls that shall follow during the day.. And finally, the run to reach office on time. And while on the run, a quick call to my mother to satiate my desire to respect the powers that guide me… “Hello Amma! Rushing to the office… Have not gotten my salary yet… Its ok, I’ll send some.. Can’t take leave from office, don’t think I’ll be able to come home this month… Will see… I hope you are doing fine? Ok, keeping the phone now, the bus is here…”

The bus which I take was a little late today. A bus which was bought by the central government, using money from the United States which they had begged for, and then donated to little Kerala. An ‘AC City Bus’. Though the ticket in that bus taxed my wallet four times as much as it would in a normal bus, its a pretty comfortable affair.. Air conditioning.. Music.. Silent people.. Very important people who sat without smiling.. An awesomely artificial and complex social game..

At the very next stop, a nomad family inched forward to board the bus. They looked very dirty, and carried a few cloth bundles. A small family; a father, a mother, a daughter and a son.. The kids had excitedly started chattering and skipping when they had seen the bus. The father started to step into the bus.

“Hang on! Don’t get on.. Don’t get on.. This bus is not for random beggars..” Said the Honourable Ticket Conductor. The other important souls in the bus started laughing at that. He looked at the conductor with a sour glance. Soon after, he grabbed the cloth bundles and the kids and put them into the bus. The woman followed the bundles, the kids, and him onto the bus.

“It costs 32 rupees for the ticket to Aluva. Half-price for the children. A total of 96 rupees. Get on the bus only if you have money. If not, better get off now! Don’t bother me…” At this, the woman, probably the mother of the children, brandished a crumpled hundred rupee note clenched in her fist. Everyone was quite silent after that…

The four of them shuffled into the seats in front of me. They looked like they had entered some fantasy island. The kids were jumping up and down on their seats. The little girl ran around in the bus, nonchalantly scratching her head. The woman and the man were looking at their children with flooding eyes. Everyone on the bus was staring at them. I saw one too many of their foreheads wrinkle (the conservative committee members, surely). I looked at the girl and smiled. She shyly walked to her mother and hid behind her sari. Her mother covered her gently with her torn piece of clothing. One of the most beautiful sights of the world..

My heart was being wrenched with emotion. And then the person, the man, he said to me, [in Tamil] “The tiny ones’ wish.. Yes… Don’t even have money to buy water now. Hmm…” I gave him a smile. Though my heart was crying.

The bus reached Aluva. Everyone got down. I got down and kept watching the family. The kids were in a happy frenzy, as if they had been presented the moon! The father sat himself down and started on a beedi (a kind of local cigarette). The mother.. The mother! She had settled down in the shade of a tree and was extending a begging hand to people rushing past her. Mother.. Amma.. Can’t take leave from office… don’t think I’ll be able to come home this month… will see… I hope you are doing fine… keeping the phone now… I cried. Amma.. Amma.

Written by someone who prefers to be known as Kochambi.
Translated to English by Neo Garfield.

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I wish I could have done more justice to the beauty of the article as it is present in its original avatar in Malayalam. But my command over the English language does not allow me to. It, I guess, is also one of the plagues of translation. But here, I proudly present the original version by my brother in Malayalam. It has no title.


പതിവു പോലെ ആരെയൊക്കെയോ ശപിച്ചു കൊണ്ടു (അതു മൊബീല്‍ കണ്ടുപിടിച്ചവനേയൊ കോലിന്‍ ബെല്‍ കണ്ടുപിടിച്ചവനേയൊ ഒക്കെ ആണെന്നു തോന്നുന്നു) ഞാന്‍ ഇന്നും ഉണര്‍ന്നു……ആര്‍ക്കോ വേണ്ടി…..

ദിവസത്തില്‍ 23 മണിക്കൂറും ജോലിയെ കുറിച്ചു മാത്രം ചിന്തിക്കാന്‍ വിധിക്കപ്പെട്ട എന്നെ പൊലെ ഒരാള്‍ക്കു…..ഒരുപാടു പേരില്‍ ഒരാള്‍ക്ക്…..പ്രഭാതം എന്നു പറയുന്നതു ഒരു തരം മരവിപ്പാണു…..ഒരു ദിവസം മുഴുവനുള്ള മരവിപ്പിനെ കുറിച്ചൊര്‍ത്തുള്ള മരവിപ്പു…..

പിന്നെ പതിവു പൊലെ ചടങുകള്‍….പല്ല്…കുളി….വേഷം കെട്ടല്‍……ഇന്നു ആരെയൊക്കെ പറ്റിക്കണം എന്നതിന്റെ ഓര്‍മ്മപ്പെടലുകള്‍…..ഒടുവില്‍ തിരക്കു പിടിച്ചുള്ള ഓടലും….ഓടുന്നതിനിടയില്‍ മുകളിലെ ചടങുകളില്‍ ഒന്നു മാത്രമായ മാത്ര് സ്നേഹവും…..ഫോണിലൂടെ……” ഹലൊ അമ്മ….തിരക്കാ…..ശംബളം കിട്ടിയില്ല..അയക്കാം….ലീവ് ഇല്ല….ഈ മാസം വെരാന്‍ പറ്റില്ല….നോക്കാം….. സുഘമല്ലേ…..വെക്കുന്നു…ബസ് വന്നു….”….കഴിഞ്ഞു…..

ഇന്നു ഞാ‍ന്‍ പോകുന്ന ബസ് കുറച്ചു വൈകി…..ബസ് എന്നു പറഞാല്‍ …കേന്ദ്രം അമേരിക്കയുടെ കയ്യില്‍ നിന്നും കടം വാങി കേരളത്തിനു  നല്‍കിയ AC CITY BUS….നാലിരട്ടി പണം കൊടുക്കണമെങിലും സങതി കുശാലാ‍…..എ സി…..പാട്ട്…..ചുറ്റിലും പരസ്പരം മിണ്ടാതെ …. ചിരിക്കതെ ഇരിക്കുന്ന വലിയ ആള്‍ക്കാര്‍….ആകെ കൂടി ഒരു കെട്ടിമാറാപ്പു തന്നെ…..


ഞാന്‍ കയറി അടുത്ത സ്റ്റൊപ്പില്‍ ബസ് നിര്‍ത്തിയപ്പോള്‍ അവിടെ നിന്നും ഒരു നാടോടി കുടുംബം ഈ ബസില്‍ കയറാനായി വന്നു…..കുളിക്കാതെ….കയ്യില്‍ കുറേ തുണി കെട്ടുകളുമായി ഒരു കുടുംബം…..ഒരു അച്ഛന്‍ അമ്മ മോന്‍ മോള്‍…….ആ കുഞ്ഞുഞഞള്‍ ഈ ബസ് കണ്ടപ്പോള്‍ തുള്ളിചാടുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു…..ആ‍ അച്ഛന്‍ ബസിലേക്കു കയറി….“കേറല്ലേ…കേറല്ലേ..ഇതു കണ്ട തെണ്ടികള്‍ക്കു കയറാനുള്ളതല്ല…..“കണ്ടക്റ്റര്‍ ഏമാന്‍ പുറകില്‍ നിന്നും വിളിച്ചു പറഞ്ഞു..അതു കേട്ടു ചിരിക്കാന്‍  ബാക്കി എമാന്‍മാര്‍….അയാള്‍ പുച്ചിചു കണ്ടക്റ്ററെ ഒന്നു നൊക്കി…എന്നിട്ടു പുറത്തു നിന്നും ആ തുണി കെട്ടുകളെയും കുട്ടികളേയും എടുത്ത് ബസ്സിനുള്ളിലെക്കു ഇട്ടു…..പുറകേ ആ സ്ത്രീയും കയറി…..“ആലുവ വരെ ഒരാള്‍ക്കു 32 രൂപാ ആകും…കുട്ടികള്‍ക്ക് പകുതി എടുക്കണം….മൊത്തം 96 രൂപാ…കയ്യില്‍ കാശ് ഉണ്ടങില്‍ കയറിയാല്‍ മതി…ഇല്ലെങില്‍ ഇറങിക്കൊണം….മനുഷ്യനെ മെനെക്കെടുത്താതെ…..” കണ്ടക്റ്റര്‍ വീണ്ടും പറഞ്ഞു….അപ്പോള്‍ ആ‍ സ്ത്രീ …ആ‍ കുട്ടികളുടെ അമ്മയാകും…ആവാം….കയ്യില്‍ മുറുക്കി പിടിച്ചിരുന്ന ചുളുങ്ങി മുഴിഞ്ഞ ഒരു 100 രൂപാ നോട്ടു കണ്ടക്റ്ററുടെ കയ്യിലേക്കു കൊടുത്തു….പിന്നെ ആരും ഒന്നും മിണ്ടിയില്ല…..

അവര്‍ നാലു പേരും കൂടി ഞാന്‍ ഇരുന്നതിനു മുന്‍പിലായി വന്നു ഇരുന്നു…..അവര്‍ എതോ മായാ ലോകത്തു ഇരിക്കുന്നതു പോലെ ആയിരുന്നു…..ആ കുട്ടികള്‍ സീറ്റിലൊക്കെ കയറി ചാടി കളിച്ചു…..ആ പെണ്‍കുട്ടി തലയൊക്കെ ചൊറിഞ്ഞു കൊണ്ട് ബസ്സില്‍ ഓടി കളിച്ചു….ആ അച്ഛനും അമ്മയും നിറഞ്ഞ കണ്ണുകളോടെ അതു നോക്കി കാണുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു…..എല്ലാവരും അവരെ തന്നെ നൊക്കുകയായിരുന്നു……അതില്‍ പലരുടേയും നെറ്റി ചുളിയുന്നതു ഞാന്‍ കണ്ടു…….സദാചാര കമ്മറ്റിക്കാര്‍…..ഞാ‍ന്‍ ആ പെണ്‍കുട്ടിയെ നോക്കി ചിരിച്ചു…അവള്‍ നാണിച്ചു അവളുടെ അമ്മയുടെ അടുത്തു പോയി പതുഞി ഇരുന്നു…ആ അമ്മ അവരുടെ കീറിയ സാരിത്തലപ്പു കൊണ്ടു പുതപ്പിച്ചു കൊടുത്തു…..ലോകത്തിലെ ഏറ്റവും സുന്ദരമായ കാഴ്ച ……എന്റെ മനസ്സ് വല്ലാണ്ടു വിഞുകയായിരുന്നു…..അപ്പോള്‍ ആ മനുഷ്യന്‍….ആ അച്ഛന്‍ എന്നോടായി പറഞ്ഞു….”കൊലന്തയുടെ ആശ…..താന്‍….തണ്ണി വാങ്ങര്‍തുക്കു പോലും ഇനി കാശു കിടയാതു….ആനാ……”….ഞാന്‍ അയാളെ നോക്കി ചിരിച്ചു….മനസ്സു കരയുകയാ‍യിരുന്നെങിലും……..

ബസ് ആലുവയില്‍ എത്തി….എല്ലാരും ഇറങ്ങി…ഞാനും……പുറത്തിറങ്ങി ഞാന്‍ അവരെ തന്നെ നോക്കി നിന്നു……ആ‍ കുട്ടികള്‍ അംബിളി അമ്മാവനെ കിട്ടിയ സന്തോഷത്തില്‍ തുള്ളിച്ചാടുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു…ആ അച്ഛന്‍ അവിടെ ഇരുന്നു ബീടി വലിക്കുന്നു…..ആ അമ്മ…അമ്മ….അവര്‍ എവിടെ…….ദൂരെ ഒരു മരത്തിന്റെ ചുവട്ടിലിരുന്നു അരോടൊക്കെയോ കൈ നീട്ടുന്നു…..അമ്മ…അമ്മ….ലീവ് ഇല്ല….ഈ മാസം വെരാന്‍ പറ്റില്ല….നോക്കാം….. സുഘമല്ലേ…..വെക്കുന്നു……ഞാന്‍ കരഞ്ഞു……അമ്മ…അമ്മ…

- കൊച്ചംബി……

"I have that now."

“Mohan.. Do you know what is diabetes? I have that now.” Words from the ten-year-old’s innocent and delicately pink lips  ripped my heart.

I was taken aback for a few seconds. I composed myself quickly. But I’m sure he must have noticed. He saw me in the capacity of teacher, I shouldn’t be a person who discourages or make things difficult for him.

After all, how much strength must it have taken to say it. Something which must be tearing his life topsy-turvy.  Said in such a composed manner. But I could hear those strained notes, for all his composition. He wanted to share. He wanted some comfort. Not pity.

Why was I taken aback? Yes, he was one of my favourites in the class. And having diabetes just means another way of life. A way of life which could be seen as difficult, or as just another way of life. Was it those strained chords? Or was it because I had received an answer for my concern about his deteriorating health? Was it because it hurt to see a little ten-year-old hand handling a pen-syringe every four hours on himself to pump in insulin? Was it because we had something in common (knowing by a simple genetic equation done a few years back that I would almost certainly get diabetes)?

“Ah. Hmmm. I’m sorry. But its just another way of life. You just need to take a little more care of your body.” I said, with a smile. An encouraging one, I hoped. But I’m sure it reflected the sadness within.

It still tears at my heart to remember him saying those few words…



Lingual Support by India Fascinates