Unkept promises

I’ll call you.
The call never came.

I’ll do it.
It never was.

I won’t tell anyone.
Lol.

I’ll keep in touch.
The phrase was redefined.

I won’t do it.
It was done.

This is the last time.
Liar.

I will.
But only if you will, sweetheart.

I trust you.
Trust?

I have faith in you.
Faith?

I promise…
Don’t utter that word.

Sometimes… Is it worth it? Is it worth…

And then with dewey eyes I glance at my love, and He has that smile. All knowing. Or rather ‘I know something you don’t know, son! ’ smile. Or a ‘Lets see best buddy! Live, and then we’ll see.’ smile. Or a ‘did you reaaallly have to do that? Sigh… Never mind…’ smile.

And when I glance at that smile, that face, those graceful arms, that loving caress on the one behind you, then I fall in love all over again. I realise, I believe, I don’t want anything else. I comprehend what Poonthanam meant. I realise what he realised.

And then I cry. And then, I love you, again. Truly, madly, deeply. Beyond words. And then I smile…

You know what? You’re the only person in my life who has made me smile… A smile that touches my eyes through my heart. You’re the only person who has wiped away my tears. You were always the only one. But you know that…

I touch you. I touch your feet. I touch the being behind. And then I sleep. All the promises unkept, but still, knowing that you are there. Believing that you will take care. Trusting you. Having faith. Cushioned in your embalming love. Safe from the world.

I love you, oh dear, after whom I was named. Almost, and also then.

Faith, love, trust… Forgiveness, understanding, love… Transcending beyond attachment. You wish.

Well yeah, I do wish. And long. And struggle. Because it is the only way out. It is the purpose.

Have faith. Love. Trust.

(Sorry… I know this post doesn’t make sense. It isn’t supposed to. Its supposed to be a diary entry, but a diary I have none… It started off as a cribbing post… Also bitchy. But it transformed into a prayer. Maybe thats saying something…)

(DISCLAIMER : One of my friends just pointed out that this post has extreme likenesses to a creation inspired by a heartburn. I solemnly swear that this it is not so. The incessantly selfish me was in love with no one else other than myself when I wrote this post. Nor was I under the influence of alcohol, nicotine, narcotics and the like. Thank you.)